In Judith Carmody's Co-Bully No More and Become Co-Dependent Free, she brilliantly and kindly breaks down the dual nature of bullying, the seduction of poor treatment, and the difficulty in leaving honoring the danger in staying. By acknowledging there are many levels of socialization going on at once, she delicately explains it. There is no judgment, only a desire to empower and help each person understand how they have become stuck in a dance they no longer wish to perform. In helping each person understand their engagement and how they limit themselves, she is literally giving them the keys to their own liberation.
In logical progression, she outlines the multiple levels of bullying, control, and domination. More importantly, she offers a look at what a healthy relationship is. It is not enough to say leave. Unless we have the tools to understand what a healthy relationship looks like we will have difficulty recognizing it. Even more disappointing, we may recreate it without knowing. Her approach is easily accessible for those at a professional level, but more importantly, could easily be shared with young women on up. The openness and kindness in presentation offers no judgments but actually challenges those who believe it is so easy to make changes by giving them a deeper understanding of what the co-bully is dealing with and how deep the hurts and patterns may be. In offering what a healthy relationship is and can be, those who know what they have isn't right are able to understand why, and more importantly how, they have come to accept what they have.
If it takes two to tango, it only makes sense it takes two to be in an unhealthy relationship. In the words of Maya Angelou "You did the best that you knew how. Now that you know better, you'll do better." Judith Carmody's "Co-Bully No More and Become Co-Dependent Free" certainly seeks to hel' everyone 'do better.'
Melinda J.Kelly International Author and Life Coach, Los Angeles, Californiap everyone 'do better.